What is Mediation and How Does It Help a Child Custody Case?
The practical challenges of a divorce, from dividing up property to settling on questions of financial support, are challenging on their own, even without the added emotional baggage. However, the challenge becomes even more significant once child custody and child support enter the equation. Parents want what is best for their children, and the attempt to meet in the middle can often be derailed by high emotion and previous disagreements that continue to show up.
That’s why many child custody cases include some element of mediation. In Texas, mediation is a type of alternate dispute resolution (ADR) that doesn’t involve the court directly. In mediation, a neutral third party guides the proceedings, intending to get each of the parents to be open to compromise and negotiation. This differs from court, in which both parents often present their sides confrontationally. Mediation is frequently voluntary, but sometimes, a judge can order that parents attend mediation before their child custody case continues forward in the court. Throughout this process, having a trusted and experienced attorney like the Bergmann Law Firm, PLLC team can get you the best result possible for you and your child.
Do I Need Mediation for My Child Custody Dispute?
Everyone’s divorce and child custody situation is unique, so no single answer fits everyone. Many people find mediation helps clarify their child’s real needs, free of as many distractions and confrontations as possible. For others, mediation can feel like an unnecessary delay in reaching the decision they seek because they simply cannot see eye to eye with their ex.
However, you can look for telltale signs of whether or not mediation is right for you. For instance, early in the divorce process, you and your ex likely had to adopt some sort of temporary custody agreement for the sake of continued functional day-to-day life for your child. If that process went smoothly for the most part, that may be a good sign that you should try mediation. If, on the other hand, even a simple and temporary decision is difficult and time-consuming, then mediation may be more of a challenge than a help.
Of course, these considerations won’t matter if the court orders mediation as part of your child custody case process. In some situations, a judge will decide that mediation is the best course of action before continuing forward because they believe mediation will provide some focus and clarity on the matters at hand. In such situations, the best option is for the parents to embrace the process and get the most they can from it. That includes working with an experienced attorney at your side whenever possible.
What Are Some Tips for an Effective Mediation Process?
The only reason to participate in a mediation process is to get the best result for your child or children. Without that central belief, mediation will likely not work for you. That’s why it’s best to follow these tips for a more effective mediation:
Be Honest: This process only works if the parties come to the table to accomplish something honestly. That doesn’t mean you have to share personal things you don’t want others to know, but you do need to start from a place of truth.
Be Prepared for Negotiation and Compromise: This process aims to make progress that is agreed upon by both parties rather than forced upon them by the court. To do that, you have to come prepared to meet the other party partway.
Keep an Open Mind: You may think you have the ideal strategy planned for yourself and your child, but remember that there is another voice in the room with your child’s best interests at heart: the mediator. So be open to suggestions from them, including suggestions from your ex. You never know where the best and most helpful idea could come from, so you don’t want to miss it by being close-minded.
Keep Your Volume and Language In Control: Mediation discussions can be delicate, uncomfortable, and frustrating. It’s important to remember that raising your voice, using coarse language, or talking badly about other parties only makes it worse. While it may feel good in the moment to say things like that, it only hurts you and your case in the long run.
Keep Your Child’s Needs Front and Center: Never forget throughout this process that your child is the one who needs to benefit. You may have emotional baggage from your experience with your ex, but that shouldn’t affect your child’s best chance at a fulfilling relationship with both their parents and the opportunity to thrive in their new family arrangement.
Do I Need an Attorney for My Child Custody Mediation?
As with many aspects of the law in the state of Texas, the law does not require you to have an attorney to participate in the mediation process. You are legally allowed to handle this process without legal representation. However, essential reasons exist to have a knowledgeable and dedicated attorney by your side throughout this process.
It’s important to remember that the neutral third party in a child custody mediation is always seeking the child’s best interest. That is precisely what you want them to do, but that also means there is no advocate for yourself at the mediation table besides you. It’s important to have a voice with legal knowledge in your corner, helping you understand complex and vital questions in real time and helping you see how they will affect you and your time with your child. It’s also crucial that you have someone with whom you can confide important information that could affect the outcome of a child custody case, knowing that the information is privileged and will be used in helping decision-making but not be made known to all parties involved in the mediation.
Bergmann Law Firm, PLLC can be your trusted legal partner and confidante. It’s not worth risking your future well-being and relationship with your child by taking on this complicated process without someone educated in legal details and ready to help you get your ideal result. Give us a call at 210-759-4336 so we can get started helping you through this complicated but ultimately positive process so you can get on to enjoying your future.
